Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Book Alcoholics Anonymous

Your addiction could’ve prevented you from showing up in your family’s life like you wanted to. That’s why the recovery process doesn’t end when we leave rehab. One of the most important things to remember is that not everyone living amends will be accepting of attempts to make amends. Also, you should never attempt to make amends where doing so is likely to cause further harm, such as making direct amends to someone you injured in a drunk driving accident.

• By calling the helpline you agree to the terms of use.
• Having a sponsor helps with the ninth step, as sponsors work side-by-side with recovering alcoholics and help determine how to handle making amends.

Before approaching Step 9, you need to complete the inventory in Step 8. This is a list of all of the people in your life whom you believe you have harmed. It can be a challenging list to write, even for those who want to embrace forgiveness and https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/why-does-alcohol-cause-bruising/ inner peace—but the list is important. It represents many of the feelings and struggles you’ve had. By working through the list in Step 9 and making amends to each person named there, you will restore a piece of yourself with each conversation.

Step 8 in Alcoholics Anonymous

If someone does not want to hear from us, we respect that and do our best to move forward with our recoveries. We can also make amends by living very purposefully within the bounds of our principles. For example, if we hurt people with our lying and we cannot make amends without further injuring them, we would make living amends by making a decision to behave and communicate with complete honesty. In addiction, our actions and intentions aren’t aligned. For example, we might intend to go to a friend’s birthday party, but in actuality, we fail to show up for the event. While we might apologize later for missing the party, our apology consists of words rather than actions or changed behavior.

Other people who are or who have gone through the 12 steps are likely to have some insight on how best to do so. My Mom, on the other hand, loves to complain about Ricky’s behavior. Sometimes I can listen supportively for a short period of time. When she takes a breath, I ask if she wants my opinion. Over the years, in small bits and pieces, I have been able to share small pearls of my Al-anon wisdom.

I’m In Recovery

After you make a list of people you’ve harmed in Step 8, you must possess the right attitude to make direct amends with those you’ve treated poorly. Then, you’ll want to categorize each amend you have to make. For instance, there are individuals you may need to confront as soon as you’re serious about maintaining your sobriety. Though, there may people with whom you can only make partial restitution with.

• Instead, you may need to engage in a dialogue with them over time.
• As with alcohol and other drugs, we are also powerless over other people.
• There may be many people in your life you’ve hurt and who have hurt you.
• Likewise, my marriage is a partnership with my husband.

The 12-step program instills honesty and integrity in members. If making amends requires the recovering alcoholic to report a past crime, they must be willing to go to jail to complete this step on their road to a complete and limitless recovery. From the steps leading up to nine, recovering alcoholics begin to develop tools to handle stressful situations without liquor and believe in a Higher Power greater than themselves.

An Overview of Alcoholics Anonymous

And those words ring hollow when we repeatedly break our promises. So, to truly make amends, we have to offer more than words. There’s a reason why addiction is called a family disease. Its effects ripple through our family and close relationships. And making amends in recovery to repair those relationships is a crucial step.

This pamphlet describes who A.A.s are and what we have learned about alcoholism. Reconnecting with loved ones is part of making amends. If there are any concerns about content we have published, please reach out to us at